PLUS-SIZED AND SHOPPING FOR A DRESS—WELCOME TO HELL
By Julia Rabuy
Hello there! Your friendly neighborhood fat girl here (apologies, if anyone reading this finds my usage of “fat” offensive, but I’m currently in the process of reclaiming the term), and I am about to graduate this May!
What should be an exciting time for me is truly overwhelming, especially when trying to perfect every single detail for the big day. The process of graduating is utterly stressful—dealing with classes, finalizing transcripts, paying for the penultimate cap and gown, managing stuff with family—the list is endless.
But for us plus-sized women, finding fashionable, good-quality, and moderately-priced formal attire for the big day piles on a whole different layer to commencement madness. I know finding the perfect outfit may seem like a trivial detail, but for me, it’s important. I’ve heard of people throwing on any outfit under their gown and sporting some beat-up flips flops, but I want—and deserve—to wear something special and pretty. I want to celebrate these special moments in an outfit that is both formal and makes me feel like me.
Now, I totally understand that finding formal wear in any context can be tiresome, but imagine how hard it is when stores refuse to cater to the size you wear. From the get-go, all my options are limited, so I have to plan way in advance for any special occasion. I wish I could shop in any conventional store where I could try on clothing that appeals to me, but the stores near me only offer plus-sized clothing geared toward a more “mature” woman.
But there is always online shopping, right?!?!
Wrong...
Honestly, online shopping has become the bane of my existence. In order to try on clothing, I have to pay for it, wait for it to ship, hope the UPS person delivers it to the right apartment, and pray that all the items I ordered are in the package—just to simply try on a dress. I have spent so much time measuring myself, reading product descriptions, finding people wearing an item I’m interested in on Instagram, only to receive it, try it on, and absolutely hate how it looks on me. I then have to pack it, mail it back to the company (and pray that the brand offers free postage for returns) and hope it arrives on time so that I could receive my refund, only to start the whole process over again. I have spent so much time and effort online shopping, and it’s not by choice. They always try to market online shopping as the “most convenient” method to shop, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
So. Bleepin’. Frustrating.
I just wish that I had the same amount of options as everyone else, and I wish it weren’t such a struggle to try and be a fashionable, trendy, and cute fat girl.
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Knowing that stores or companies don’t want a person like me shopping in their stores is utterly disheartening, hurtful, and dehumanizing. Placing such limitations on fashion reinforces the idea that fat or plus-sized people are of less worth and don’t need to be treated like everyone else, which is completely false.
Finding a formal-ish dress shouldn’t be this much of an endeavor, but unfortunately for this fat girl, it is, and it will likely continue until a significant change occurs from within the industry itself.
I do have to acknowledge that “Fat Fashion” has come a long way, and I am seeing way more plus-sized people in the everyday media, but there still is a lot that needs to change so that fashion can be more accessible to all.
But for now, I will have to make it work with the options that I have. I will keep fighting the good fight, and I will not let these minor limitations impact me. I will be scouring ASOS (an online brand and marketplace that is *mostly* accessible for me) for the trendiest—yet formal—dresses, and I have faith that I will find something perfect for the big day. And though this process is frustrating and stressful, I have to keep in mind that this is just one tiny aspect of Graduation, and what’s most important is that I enjoy my day with all my family and friends.
So, cheers to me and everyone graduating in 2019!
Hooray!
-Julia xoxo
